HEAVY LITTLE OBJECTS

#35 :: Telescope glasses

These have the feel of a Hammacher-Schlemmacher wannabe - a must-have gadget for the avid sports fan or optics freak. You can picture him sitting there with a pair of 'em on at Dodger Stadium, replaying the braying marketing boilerplate in his mind between innings - "Hundreds of uses! For birdwatching, auto racing - and at any sporting event, enjoy the sensation fo being right on the field!" He reaches up to fiddle with the diopters, swiveling the well-greased objectives to bring the pop fly into sharp focus in the precision-ground glass lenses. Congratulating himself on his savvy purchase, he turns to his buddy - Hey, did you see (extreme blurry closeup of nosehair) GAAAAHHH!" They came in a hand-stitched leather case lined with red felt.