July 26, 2004
#167 :: Stud Finder
In another era, you could rimshot off the name of this device in a second - Heyaa, I'm here all week, don't forget to tip your waitresses, try the veal it's delicious - but this is 2004. The line between the sex roles is smearing, the po-mo mediasphere is awash in home-improvement shows, and now that porn is mainstream, nearly-genteel Victoria's Secret catalogues are the new Hustler for the cheesecake hounds. And some factory somewhere is turning out a mystical device in gumdrop plastic with user-friendly instructions, cheerful LED indicators and a little integrated pocket clip - that can see through walls. In truth, it uses a magnetic field to "see" sheetrock screws or steel studs - a skill once left to carpenters with butt-crack beltlines and an uncanny ability to find solid wood behind plaster and lath simply by thumping on it with their callused fists. This runs on AAAs.